MILLIONS (2004)

SHORT REVIEW: If you ever needed inspiration to count your ceiling tiles, you’ve found it. Again, we find a critically acclaimed film that proves that you should never trust the words “critically acclaimed”. Here’s a hint for all of you goofballs who cling so tightly to what the critics say: I’m allowed to be a critic. I’m a moron who shouldn’t be allowed to interact with larger society and I’m allowed by that society to offer film reviews. The “critics” are morons as well. Tread very lightly when you put your stock in the advice of dimwits such as myself, otherwise you end up watching self indulgent, meaningless crap like this film. The movie is barely more than a series of commercials. The number of advertisements I found in this film stunned me. There is a thing called product placement. This is when a company pays (either through investing in the film directly, simply cutting a check, or offering special incentives like free product or gifts) to have their product placed prominently in the film. You see this more and more on television as DVR services eliminate the need for audiences to sit through traditional commercials. This is a great marketing tool for companies, what better than to have a huge star stand in front of your logo for a few seconds? This connects them psychologically with your product and your target audience is forced to watch (primarily because they don’t know they’re watching a commercial.) This film is littered with such placements. From Pepsi to Nike I lost count of the number of ads. It disgusts me to see this in film. While it may seem harmless it is not. Product placement is subversive advertising and unfair to the consumer. I should have the ability to turn away from ads if I want. Since most people don’t notice the ads when they take place within films they don’t have the opportunity to turn away. The subliminal aspect of product placement is frightening. The film as a whole is extremely self-indulgent. The story is cute and overly uplifting but signifies absolutely nothing. The director Danny Boyle does his best to keep the spotlight firmly behind the camera by forcing in ludicrous and distracting camera angles, edits and transitions. There is nothing more pathetic than directors who believe their own childish love for cool angles overwhelm the need for coherent story telling. Danny, the movie was supposed to be about the two boys, how about filming them instead of showing us all the neat tricks you’ve picked up since film school? I am not against using interesting angles on occasion to buttress a point or a feeling but when the director relies on cinematic parlor tricks for the bulk of his/her film you know you’re dealing with a self-interested hack. To summarize, the film is not as good as you’ve heard. Some may like it since it is a very simple and safe film but I’m not one of those people. What we have here is a pedestrian film that has been puffed up by moron critics (again, be wary of critics, like the Germans, they do their worst damage when they move in groups) to seem like something it is not, good. RELATED REVIEWS: Other critical favorites Tarnation (2003) Swimming Pool (2003) I Heart Huckabees (2004) Categories: film, movie, DVD, review, Millions